Hi friends, Chris Rosenthall here.
As a former child myself, I can tell you all about the wave of euphoria that a toy can provide when placed in the teeny tiny hands of a young person during the holidays. Not only can the perfect present supply countless hours of entertainment, it can leave its recipient with memories that last a lifetime. Be it my Huffy Sonic 6 bike with fighter jet gearshift, Final Fantasy II for the Super Nintendo or that sweet pair of rollerblades I got the one year I was big into street hockey all of a sudden, I look back upon those wonderful presents with great fondness, vividly recalling the exact moment each one entered my life. The holiday season is about love and togetherness, but if you had both of those things *and* happened to come out with a sweet pair of rollerblades (or whatever your version of “sweet pair of rollerblades” might have been) as well? Whoo whee, you were one lucky kid. Unfortunately, not every child has been given the opportunity to associate this time of year with wonderful presents (or any presents at all), and frankly I think that’s a bunch of trash, which is why I’m thrilled to announce that, for the first time ever, I’ll be working with Toys for Tots this holiday season.
Just to clarify, I wasn’t working *against* Toys for Tots during previous holiday seasons, this is just the first time I’ve set up a donation page. I have no idea how many people are going to see this, let alone donate, so my goal is to raise $95, which is approximately the combined retail value of three toys associated with this time of year:
- A plane that loops the loop;
- A hula hoop, both prominently featured in “Christmas Don’t Be Late” by the Chipmunks;
- The Red Ryder Carbine Action BB Gun that Ralphie Parker wanted in “A Christmas Story.”
I’d like to point out that the money will specifically *not* be used to buy guns for children — I just needed to come up with a goal, and using that formula seemed like a reasonable way to figure one out.
Nov. 21 Update: The fundraiser began November 20 and blew right by that $95 goal after about three hours, so the new goal is $364 — $1 for every present given in the song “The 12 Days of Christmas.”
November 23 Update: We passed the second goal yesterday, so here’s the new one: $967.43 — Kevin McCallister’s Plaza Hotel room service bill in “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.”
If you’d like to donate to my inaugural holiday fundraiser, please click the link below:
Organizing this campaign has been a great deal of fun (I say “organizing” like it was a ton of work, but really all I did was set up the page and write a few jokes), and it’s something I look forward to continuing in the future, either with Toys for Tots or an equally deserving charity. Also, I spent a significant amount of time researching the organization, but if you’ve heard that Toys for Tots is actually evil, and the Marines are doing something like trading the toys for tots, then making them work in sweatshops or become winter soldiers or whatever, please let me know. Lastly, whether you plan to donate anything or not, thank you for reading — it’s been quite a while since I posted anything here and I’m happy to be back.
